smiles and cries.

things are finally looking up. no more rain. i can look up and see the sun and blue skies now. and it makes me heartwarmingly happy to know that i am climbing off the shitheap, even faster than i ever thought would be possible.

today, i sold a bulletproof vest i got for free to a redneck man for 300$.
that money was used to get a bunch of necessities for myself, and the remainder will be spent on taking care of my warrant so im not a wanted man, then the remainder from THAT is going towards my phone bill.

today, i also found out that i got that job at the sunglasses kiosk in the factory outlets too. so thats two jobs that i have.


ive been in the gutter for too long, so even the most mediocre of all accomplishments means so much to me. i feel like a MAN for the first time in a long time, even though I am nowhere near the level I once was. I'm getting there though... fairly quickly too. I'll work two jobs til i get a car, then after that, im getting my old job back at the airline in sac or sf. then, when all those pieces fall in order, I will be a man in most aspects of the definition.

I've already learned through heavy self-criticism that dwelling on the negative past and displaying it to people isn't healthy. and i learned that the hard way. so im just going to continue keeping my head down, remaining quiet, and working hard. although, occasionally, i might let a satisfied smile sneak onto my face.



:)