prescription: logic.

i guess all i can really do right now is type in this thing. no thoughts or meanings behind the words, just typing until i think of a way out of this town and back home, where at least i understand things. its 8am. there are drums here, and honestly, all i want to do is play them. but there are people sleeping... good people whom i respect and adore very much, so that wouldnt be too fair. theres a perfectly good tv in the living room, but i dont much feel like watching tv right now. i feel sick. but i know im not. thats psychosoma of the worst type, having your brain so overloaded with negative thought that it affects the body. i dont come from anything, so i guess all i can do is go back to nothing. i HAD something, but not anymore. but, did i REALLY have it? maybe i didnt.... maybe it was a well dressed lie. or a falsety. or a deceptive embrace with a strong curse behind it. maybe there is no curse. but that its forced on their part too. im hurting, readers and inanimate paper of the world. im hurting relatively hard. in the last 24 hours, i got taken away from all my troubles in the world, into a REAL place that makes it alllllll go away, and then i got reminded that not only it all exists, but that i am not and can not rise above it all. that i cant offer the moon. disheartening. drunk talk or real talk? who knows. who cares at this point.