can't slow down.

today I woke up in massive state of confusion with the singlemost severe headache I've felt in a very very long time. I was still drunk. I listened to the entire dashboard confessional cd "the places you have come to fear the most", then zaks beautiful awesome funny mother took us out to dennys where I proceeded to eat an all american slam, 4 pieces of toast, extra has browns, and I also downed 4 glasses of water and one glass of apple juice. it was a necessity. having defeated my headache for the time being, I got dropped off at HQ and listened to the entire matisyahu cd, then watched the AMAZING movie elizabethtown. if you haven't seen it, see it. whimsically eclectic. my friend bryan came over with an iced mocha from starbucks in hand for me. it was HOT and we were dying even being indoors, so the windows got closed and the a/c got turned on. zak comes home from work and lets us know that we're going to wyoming. so we pile into the truck and start headed towards the border at about 95. after almost getting into no less than three very high speed collisions, we reach wyoming. first stop, the firework stand. back home, when we want fireworks, we go to winters... this stand was fucking INSANE. heavily air conditioned. they sold mortars there along with m80s by the pound and bricks of black cats. I spend 1.95 and got 4 roman candles. and since zak and the owner are basically gay for each other and giving each other constant reacharounds, the owner threw in 60$ worth of free crazy shit to go with my 2$ fireworks and zaks 140$ worth. we then decide we're hungry so we head north some more to cheyenne, wyoming and most definitely the only mall in the whole state. cheyenne is the capitol and its really offset from the freeway, so you never notice how small it is til you actually get into town. looked like a tiny rural town... just with a capitol building. this mall sucks. tiny. an indoor strip mall. but everybody there is ALL about it... its like the high school kick it spot... everybody knows everybody... waves and hugs get exchanged. we eat and some bullshit place called taco johns {don't eat there} and I have the worst burrito of my life. the whole time I'm at the mall, I catch salty glances from all angles. wyoming and colorado are perpetually stuck in 1998. eyebrow piercings, lee pipes, spiked hair, and ICP are in full effect. definitely not me. we leave the mall and its my turn to drive. somewhere in between the postal service and southland I start thinking about my life... and how I really really wanted to be home. give my mom a hug. be home for fathers day. beat my siblings at video games like I ALWAYS do. have wild times with omar. etc. and it bummed me out. I've only been gone three weeks and I miss everything and everybody from home so much that it hurts. I play myself off as a stone with an icy heart too often... but in reality, I realize that I'm actually loving. I feel transitional right now... but into what? I couldn't say. I couldn't even define my state right now. I'm just kinda.... drifting through life. I just want school to start. so I can finally have a chance to be a normal high school graduate and feel like a normal person. to be grounded and tied down. I need that. my life has been way way way too wild since school ended. and I'm glad it has... because I feel that if it wasn't, I wouldn't be so dead set on going to school and making something of myself before its too late. school can't start soon enough.



so here I sit in the meantime, on a loveseat occupied by only one... drinking some of colorados icy cold pristine water. listening to saves the day.

stay classy, world.