hellacious.

yesterday was pretty intense. woke up around 10am to my phone ringing. it was my good friend jon. him and my other friend big matt swung by the casa and swooped me up with his heart set on one thing: the lake. after going 15 miles in the opposite direction, we swooped up jake at solano then decided it was about the right time for a little wal-mart action. I ate a double cheeseburger then hit the sporting goods aisles... after deciding on the gnarliest raft ever and 20 feet of rope, we made the ominous trek down the beer aisle. I decided on a 12 pack of bud lime with my 15$, jake got a 12 pack of rolling rock, and jonny got a 30 pack of bud light. before I left home, I pulled a power play and stole my parents' ice chest so we crammed all of that, ice, and 12 mountain dews in the ol chest and made a mad dash for the lake in jonnys new car. that fucker has a new mitsubishi galant with subs, a touch screen dash stereo, and sirius radio. I remember I used to listen to sirius backspin channel 43 all day everyday a few years back so I wisely suggested that channel. it was a hit. public enemy wu tang run dmc sugarhill gang bumped in the beat the whoooole way. ok so we get to the lake and I get down to traditional alvesey summer attire with a quickness: short shorts, no shirt, vans with no socks, and my ray charles glasses. its about 103 degrees. I blow up my bad ass raft, jonny and jake got a fucking motor for their huuuuge raft boat, and matt gets down to boxers and its beers away with a quickness. it probably took about 15 minutes to do all this and we all kill 3 beers apiece. except matt... he doesn't drink. so we walk our rafts and ice chest down to the water and I swear I was in some fucking diarrhea estuary or some shit because the water looks like it probably has hepatitis. so yeah we definitely get in the water, me with shoes on and it turns into automatic party time. I'm going to measure increments of time in beer when I'm talking about yesterday... so about 2 beers later a boat comes through our little section of septic sludge and gives us a lift out to actual water. most fucking gnarly town ever. I was holding on to the big raft for dear life while sitting on my righteous tie dye flip flop raft and I thought I was gonna let go about 17 times. the assholes speed up even. so we finally get to water that doesn't have salmonella and we just chill. about 3 beers later we realize that we are definitely drifting out to sea towards japan. we see a buoy with some sign on it for boats... "no wake zone" and we all start kicking towards it... we get to the buoy aka "the club" and we wisely decide that we want to party on it. jonny gets on and jake gets on and that's when it turns bad... the buoy definitely tips over upside down and all the foam floatation shit was under {on top} of it dislodges so there's just bare algae wood showing. also, the anchor holding it in one spot comes off too.. after tipping the sign back upright, we wisely decide against taking the "club" with us on our journey and just leave it there to slowly sink. around this part of the day is when my memory starts to get a tad bit hazy courtesy of the already 12 beers I had consumed. I remember somehow getting to shore where we proceeded to yell at everybody in boats that were passing us going upwards of 50 mph. the wake and waves from that was pretty hellacious and I tipped over a few times... luckily though the ice chest didn't and the great drinkoff of 2008 continued with more zest than ever. realizing that we were definitely on the opposite shore of the store with food and that we had to paddle against the current to get further upstream towards said store, I was the only smart one who made a conscious decision to stay onshore and walk rather than do what they did: paddle upstream. on some mud beach right across from the store/docks, matt continued pulling the rafts in the water while me jake and jonny sat in cess that is lake berryessa. we're about 14 15 beers deep and its safe to say I was drunk. so... drinking a rolling rock, we decide to try to swim across to the docks. so we did. I was drinking a beer while swimming through the lake. beer didn't even get wet I kept that shit above water. drinking it while swimming and strugling to stay afloat too. we get on the docks and we're all exhausted so I chug the ol beer and we head to the store for some dogs and burgs and asada. closed. we walk back towards the ol car and some fucking whacko guy GIVES us a paddleboat. righteous. at the car we meet up with our long lost ice chest and beers away again. by this point all the good beer is definitely gone so its just us and buddy light. spirits dampered and bellies empty, we pull out the power play and lay down the plan to make the commute into the bustling metropolis of winters and get some food at the ol pizza factory. a wise wise choice. matt hops in the captains chair of the ol galant and takes his crew on a scenic trek through the wilderness that is lake berryessa. 2 beers later and down the mountain into the busy metropolitan region that is winters, we find ourselves at heavens gate aka the pizza factory. jonny orders whatever we ate there and a guy comes out with a pitcher of beer and sets it on the table with righteous mugs to accomodate aforementioned beer. matts driving and jake is a pussy ass hoe so me and jonny are left to drink said pitcher by ourselves. the pizza comes out... supreme pizza with garlic. I don't like supreme pizza. I don't like olives or peppers or sausage or ham. I must have had 6 fucking slices. gnarly. we polish off the ol pitcher and hop in the mothership for the quest back towards home. then something I've never even seen before happens... jonny pukes. I don't really remember the drive back into town at all after that, honestly... but I do remember drinking a beer on previously stated drive. getting back to HQ, I take a spot on the ol recliner when jonny busts through the ol door with old mister chest in hand and bud e. light inside said chest. basically it happens like this... jonny leaves and comes back and leaves again and I drink the rest of the beer. people were in and out of HQ all night... sammy and corrina came over that was chill some hoe I didn't know but I guess she knew me was bein awkward. I got semi-heated at her fuckin boyfriend because he was sayin dumb shit. his friend is a redneck psycho who shot his own dog. wild. I remember watching reno 911 with matty marino laughing our asses off at 3am before I "fell asleep". woke up around 11 still hammered drunk and me and jake walked here then to subway then I came home and have been playing call of duty 4 online all day with my brother. yep. that's essentially 24 hours through my eyes. oh yeah fucking jeremy is flying in tonight from denver and I'm righteously stoked... he's so sick. its gonna be a fun few days with that guy. zak needs to come out too. and sean needs to die. stay classy, world.... I'm gonna figure out how I'm getting to the airport