Disclaimer.

The writings in this briefly expansive set of memoirs are only to be interpreted as specific snapshots of my frame of mind at a certain time. Opinions change. Thoughts change. I've changed more since I started writing in this thing than anybody I've ever known and still managed to wind up at square one and back to my 17 year old self... only aged about 45 more years. Since I've changed, my thoughts and opinions have also changed. Greatly. The days of divulging myself vicariously through this writing persona are long gone, in regards to the real life present tense. I now do not see this publishing tool as a sanctuary, nor a fictional shoulder to cry on, nor a place for my drunken complaints or ramblings. In fact, its been months since I've had even a drop of alcohol, and even longer since other substances have poisoned my thought process and miscalculated any of my real life equations that wound up not adding up. I am who I am. If you don't know who or what that is, then its a little bit eerie of you to read this. The point I'm making is; that save for a few bits and pieces every long once in awhile or so, I'm done writing about myself or my life. I started a separate private space of internet aside months ago for my personal memoirs, where I don't omit anything, so that if the world is still around 60 years from now and the internet decides to save my tiny page from destruction, I can read back through my previous thought processes and states of mind and find out who I truly was and how I became who I am. Some people collage... some people have photo albums... I have these scrapbooks of text to remind myself how high and low I've been. Some of my old drunken posts are funny due to the grammatical errors and terrible word choice, but some of the best works in here, in my opinion, are some of the posts that I don't even remember posting. Drunken honesty through poetry and sundries. It can't get any more brunt than that. The title at the top is really an immature cry for recognition that I'm different. I don't remember putting the picture up there. Embarassing as some of them are, I've made a personal promise since day one to never delete or edit any posts... no matter what. Maybe my frantic cries will drive you away from ever wanting to get to know me. It truthfully doesn't phase me... I have the best friends anybody could ever ask for, and a family that does their best for me. I don't need anybody else.


-Ryan-