03.29.09

Listen closely, because this is the only time I'm gonna say any of this....


The past few years have been a wild ride for me, and though I've tried to drag you down into the depths from which I recently emerged, I haven't done a good job at maintaining a sense of clarity about myself. There has been a cloud of speculation and confusion hanging above my head for a few years now about me and the band known as Trash Talk, and I think its time to clear the air fully. Yes, I was in that band. From february 2006- november 2006. I played the drums. I was NOT the original drummer. In that time, I never went on tour, save for a few coast trips. I had some fun times in that band, I had some bumout times. I was straight edge. They were not. I never once recorded with that band. Those credits are due to Isaac of Killing The Dream. Most of the self titled was recorded before I joined. Some parts weren't. I never wrote a song in my time in Trash Talk. I contributed my two cents and ideas in various places in the music. Some were put into the final recorded result. Some weren't. Same with the lyrics. On the day "Walking Disease" was slated to start recording, I quit. Money and living situation pressures at home didn't permit me the luxury of being able to afford to commute or put down money on recording. All of my spare money was already going to the band's merch fund or my/our gasoline fund. I worked two jobs, one at Vans, one at Polo Ralph Lauren... and it still wasn't enough. That's usually a good indicator that you need to cut out the extra expenditures. I opted out of the fast life for an opportunity at real life. It felt nice having actual people come up after a set and tell you that your music ignited something that normally lay dormant in them I never stole money from them.... I've heard that rumor come my way before. I always paid my room rent and merch fees on time. I was usually the driver on long treks. Yes, I left them in southern california once. And afterwards, continued to play in the band. Yes, I did lose the van keys somewhere in the pacific ocean.


You can all sit atop your new found pedestals and judge me from above while I live my life. MY life. The life I chose. I opted out of touring Japan and Europe and Australia for this. A real life and a shot at being normal and seeing the reality in all humanity. But even in these efforts, I am still treated differently for ever being in that band. For better, and for worse. You can sit in the jury and judge the accused all you want, but the fact still remains that you don't possess the credentials necessary to pass judgement... where were any of you 3 years ago anyways? I've been in and out of the game since I was 13 years old... look up initiate chaos. Chin check (knuckle puck). I don't like being treated as inferior by the consumers of a product I helped create. Where were ANY of you back when I was 17 years old playing shows at the vfw with ceremony, go it alone, and bracewar in front of TWELVE people? How about iron age, verse, and have heart? You fucking suburbia wannabes would shit all over your limited vinyl and buddy holly glasses nowadays if bills like that popped up. You know why? Cause its cool now. That's the long and the short. The music didn't get any better or worse. The song remains the same. You guys were all too busy wearing camo and gauging your ears. You have no sense of who you are... you're easily conformed. Jello. Putty. The media can mold you into anything they want. Because you're weak and dumb. You have been told to hate me. So you do. You have been told that you actually like punk when I know you don't. So you do. You have been told you've had a hard life by other fakes while the rest of us wade amongst our own lower class filth. So you do. I like my life. I love my life. And I have all of the problems you wish you had, for some reason. You hate your life because you have too much opportunity. And you secretly hate yourself because you're ashamed of it. Ashamed of your parents' success. Everything they've worked so hard for, to be cast aside by your ungrateful ass. You know what? I'm done... I think I got my point across.