defunct,

it brings a secret, severely satisfactory smile to my blatant face knowing that i make you feel what i feel. i am a black widow. i am a sturgeon. i am loch ness. i will nothing for you except bring you down to my level. i am kurt dussander. my demons are awakened and then stirred in a cauldron until i decide to serve them to innocents. the gleam in my eyes is perverted. my face is wrinkled. the pupils burn a pedophilic red right through you. the icy frosted blue turns you to stone. i see the coals that cook the soul of all of you. and i smile a teachers lecturing smile knowing that one more remnant of a person just fell of a cliff. and that i pushed them. i am a murderer. a slaughtery of everything pure. i would be a cannibal, save the fact that i dont have a soul or a heart in which to use to cannibalize other hearts and souls. even the most abyssic of people. vicious. calculating.


it seems like my weekend has gone by very fast, but in all honesty... thats only because i have been steadily in the middle of the drunk spectrum since 11am friday. i am on the high end of that spectrum now. does it cheapen my words to know they are merely the silent confessions of an old drunk? im not very well liked by many people... ive come to terms with it. i sincerely dont care. my deep dark damp thoughts that enter my brain yet have no exit find their home on this canvas.


i dont think anybody will ever TRULY know me.


im going to disappear in a few weeks/months and not resurface til im done writing.












masturbatory. all of it.